People never change
by Redemption Moon
Summary: A New Year's oneshot written off the top of my head. It's really no way to start the year but if you insist... leave a note. 'New Year's Resolutions aren't worth anything... because people never change.' KxS


**Redemption Moon :** I supposed reading this fic is no way to start the New Year... but I couldn't help it! The idea just lodge itself into my brain and wouldn't let go until I've written it! And now I'm too excited _not_ to post it! Being the review-mongerer that I am, I need feedbacks! Flames are one way to start the year. _giggles evilly_

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**People never change**

New Year's resolutions are overrated.

Every time New Year's Eve approaches, people walk the streets thinking that they were going to change; that tomorrow, they were going to be different people or that they'd change different things.

The truth is...

People never change.

They're destined to make the same mistakes over and over again... they're stupid that way.

Then again – I'm stupid too.

Because I always make the same mistake.

_I always end up loving him._

I know I'm not supposed to – but like the idiot I usually am, I do.

People tell me how utterly naïve I am. I always fall for the simplest tricks and trust every single person who does not try to kill me at first sight. Omi said so, Yohji said so. Aya would call me stupid all the time.

I guess faith in the innate human goodness and stupidity are one and the same. Because come to think about it, he did try to kill me at first sight. Heh, what a bundle of laughs I am sometimes.

Now I'm standing here at the edge of this building feeling the cold winter air nipping at my skin, just counting the minutes that I am going to stay alive. _Because I trusted him._

I hear the faraway sounds of cars speeding home before midnight strikes. New Year's Eve is best spent at home with the family, watching fireworks light up the navy sky above, I should've been doing the same thing, speeding on my bike back to the Koneko after the mission to spend the remaining minutes of this almost-dead year with my 'family' or the only people who know I 'exist.'

He stands before me, this man with silky, fiery hair, his eyes closed in apparent pain as he approached me slowly. I could feel his fear, his agony. He didn't want to do this.

Schuldich had always been like that.

In the months that I had 'known' him, he was never the impulsive man he made himself out to be. He thought and rethought everything again and again as if trying to wear out the threads of fate. He was never one to do anything that could serve to destroy his future.

Knowing him and his past – I guess I understand. _Understood._

I came from that kind of life myself. There was a time when all I thought of was self-preservation. It's something you learn when you've spent all your life trying to stay alive.

He stopped and stood there, gazing quietly at me, his gun-hand lying limply at his side as he raked shaky fingers through his unruly hair.

"Well, I guess it all boils down to this, Schu." I force a smile as I clutched my chest.

The bullet_s_ had lodged itself well into my ribcage, shattering the bone into many jagged and rather dangerously sharp fragments; I knew it was doing the most damage to all the organs it was made to protect. Schuldich never was one for half-baked plans. Even if I manage to escape this night, all those little things floating in my blood are sure to kill me.

He had long disposed of my leather gloves, leaving me defenseless and at his mercy.

Blood had never been so hot as it was now, as trickled through my naked fingers. Then again, everything usually works on overdrive when you know you're about to die.

My senses are buzzing like hell and I feel like I'm not stepping on anything solid. It must be the blood loss that's causing me to feel so goddamned light-headed.

Who cares if I lose too much blood?

I don't.

It feels good to be the first human to fly. It's like a natural high. The last one I'll ever have.

He smiled. Not the usual derisive smirk he reserved for the benefit of his Schwarz teammates or his enemies, but the private, tender one he'd show me as I'd try to blink away sleep.

" I'm sorry Ken." His whispers always caress me like the lover that he is. Always so tender and sincere. I knew he meant it too, but like the God's plaything that we all are, he had no choice.

The corner of his eye twitches. It was a tick – I'd see it whenever he felt stressed or nervous, whenever he felt some kind of overwhelming emotion. It was twitching like crazy now.

He was trapped. It was either I die, or he die... and Schuldich never held any delusions like I did. Certainly I would have chosen to die than kill him to survive; then again, everyone has his own priorities. He had his.

" I know. You have to." I say. My voice is really getting hoarse. I _had been_ planning to go to the doctor the day after tomorrow because Omi was worried something worse was wrong than the sore throat I was complaining of for weeks. _Now, I would never need to._

"They'd kill me if I didn't Ken."

"Yes. I know that."

It's really rather absurd actually.

Here we are talking about my death like we were discussing what to have for dinner...

I guess I've accepted this possibility long ago. It certainly didn't shock me when he cornered me on the rooftop and fired 3 lead nuggets into my body.

Nothing shocks me anymore. The element of surprise was gone... or was I just too jaded to care?

I bit my lip a little, until I tasted the coppery tang of blood. " Well, I guess we should end this now." Was I really in a hurry to die?

_Goddamnit Ken! Why did it have to be you?_ His maddened thoughts hit me like a bucketful of ice.

I was, out of the blue, sweating like mad.

I had to breathe!

The leather jacket could not have come off fast enough and I flicked it off over the edge of the building just a few feet away from me. For a moment, I watch it flutter heavily downwards to the hard pavement below.

Suddenly, he was upon me, all full of pent-up passion just waiting to erupt. His lips were cruel, merciless. They truly belonged to him... as well as the hot tears making fire-trails as it spattered onto my cheeks.

His fingers were tracing the little bullet-holes on my skin, making me cringe with each tiny pressure and caress. He pressed his hand against the small of my back, pulling me against his chest as he buried his face against my shoulder. I couldn't help but imagine the scarlet of my blood staining the immaculate white of his overcoat...

_All the more convincing his murder of Siberian would seem..._

I suppose if I had bothered to look, I would've seen a look of pain flash across his green eyes.

With every passing second, he made known his love, his lust, his agony.

_Goodbye Schuldich._ It was easier to think it, to leave it painted in my thoughts.

To have said it aloud would have caused me more pain than I would have liked to die with. To say it aloud would have made it final for me.

Perhaps he could somehow snuff the flame of my life with me believing it wasn't him. He was skilled in the art of deception after all, he could make me believe that someone else had shot me with three very fatal bullets.

But it was too late.

I knew that he could not taint my memories. He wanted me to die knowing that it was he who murdered me in cold blood.

So I would not make the same mistake in another life. I would not make the same mistake of loving him.

" I love you Ken." That statement had made it final for him. Each mounting syllable reflected the grief it cause his being.

The last bullet was meant to kill me as it sent me over the edge. He wasn't so merciless after all... _he didn't want me to feel any more pain_...

It didn't. My heart continued to beat as my useless body plummeted off the concrete edifice. I was too numb anyway.

He had turned away, not wanting to see my death. I twisted not of my own accord, like a little top, my arms dangling in the air like limp rotorblades.

As the wind whistled past my ears, I thought of all the things I've done wrong, what I did right. Who I should've trusted and whom I shouldn't have.

It really lasted a mere few seconds, but when you're falling to your death, there's enough time for your whole life to flash before your eyes.

I laugh a little as I finally let go of that last strand that kept me alive. My fingers loosened on the imaginary balloon that kept me afloat.

The new year had come, for I could see the sparks of multicolored fire dotting the sky right under my boots.

_**People never change. **_

_I still love him until this last moment. I have no doubt I will in whatever life I live next._

Mercifully, I did not feel the mighty swat of the pavement as it swallowed my skull in its palms.

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**Redemption :** As always, reviews are appreciated... yeah, even flames will do.


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